Whom I shared with without any fear of judgement, with full knowledge and faith of support and encouragement. Thank you much you guys, love you <3
Sunday, November 15, 2009
thanks to:
Thanks to Feli and Gi!
Posted at 9:52 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
list
So today I cancelled your name off my list.
It's one less, but just maybe, I'm kinda glad.
Thursday, November 05, 2009
walls
I'll just make them stronger.
Posted at 12:14 AM
Sunday, November 01, 2009
burn;
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplacable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. -Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged.
Posted at 8:15 PM
invictus
Invictus - William Ernest Henley
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Posted at 8:06 PM
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
do not be afraid, do not be conquered.
For we have God on our side. <3
who cares.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
looking back
Everything has turned to the point where I am able to look back without waves of panic and fear, but also to the point where I cannot handle all this anymore. So I took an hour doing what was long overdue but should not be done at the wee hours of the night during the O level period. Sort of looking back, and more importantly, looking inside once again.
I was supposed to ask all those questions after the Os, but it's about time the boiling pot spilled over.
That super long diary entry was just a precursor; once all this junk is over, I'll take to poetic solitude once again.
[Like I'm not alone enough already -.- ]
Still. I'm glad for what and who I have, even though it all takes so much from us all the time.
I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.
2 Tim 4:7
Let us stay strong right til the end, to be able to say these words.
<3
Thursday, October 29, 2009
therapy
I never thought I'd be driving through the country just to drive
With only music and the clothes that I woke up in
I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show
I had so much yet I had need for nothing
But you
This is just therapy
Let's call it what it is
(Not what we were)
With a death-grip on this life always transitioning
This is just therapy
Cause you won't take my calls
and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me
Letting it all sink in
It's good to feel a sting now and again
I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through
Forgetting it all begin
Fresh paper and nice expensive pen
The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do
For you
Unless that's what I let it do
Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused
Cause I spend my solitude with you
I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight
And I answer them the way I guess you'd do
Cause this is my therapy
Cause you're the only one that's listening to me
This is my therapy
Let's call it what it is not what we were
With a death-grip on this life that's in transition
This is my therapy
Cause you won't hear me out
and that makes God the only one who's left here listening
Posted at 12:21 PM
With only music and the clothes that I woke up in
I never thought I'd need all this time alone it goes to show
I had so much yet I had need for nothing
But you
This is just therapy
Let's call it what it is
(Not what we were)
With a death-grip on this life always transitioning
This is just therapy
Cause you won't take my calls
and that makes God the only one who's left here listening to me
Letting it all sink in
It's good to feel a sting now and again
I hope it's one less woeful thing there is to fight through
Forgetting it all begin
Fresh paper and nice expensive pen
The past can not subtract a thing from what I might do
For you
Unless that's what I let it do
Loneliness and solitude are two things not to get confused
Cause I spend my solitude with you
I gather all the questions of the things I just can't get straight
And I answer them the way I guess you'd do
Cause this is my therapy
Cause you're the only one that's listening to me
This is my therapy
Let's call it what it is not what we were
With a death-grip on this life that's in transition
This is my therapy
Cause you won't hear me out
and that makes God the only one who's left here listening
--relient k [forget and not slow down, therapy]
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
(e)Books
No one seems to bat an eye nowadays when people download music and movies and tv shows for free. It's just all too commonplace a practice, too easy to do.
Posted at 10:34 PM
And now with the ebook craze slowly but surely picking up, I wonder if they will go down the same path of pirated content?
I googled Mere Christianity (a book by CS Lewis) in hopes that I would find the text so that I wouldn't have to type it out myself to show Leican, and it really did work. The pdf file AND audio file were available right off the first few links of results.
I opened them, and there - the book's contents in FULL.
Either the copyright long expired like some old fairytales did, or...
So my mind wandered in two directions: 1) darn, wasted some money there. 2) what?! this shouldn't just be on the internet like that!
sigh.
[and I bought a LOT of books okay. still, integrity upheld :D and I like the feel of paper anyway]
Monday, October 19, 2009
leaving
I don't feel that ache of leaving MG.
Do you know why?
Because it's not over yet.
Because I know I'll be back.
Because my heart remains there still.
<3 MGS
down through the years our memories will keep a loving place
heaven ever bless our school.
Posted at 11:02 AM
Do you know why?
Because it's not over yet.
Because I know I'll be back.
Because my heart remains there still.
<3 MGS
down through the years our memories will keep a loving place
heaven ever bless our school.
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